Bitcoin Jackson, a four-month-old goldendoodle, has outlined his ambitions to make money out of his face, which he has described as “the perfect embodiment of contrition in the digital age”. Bitcoin resolved to formulate his […]
Cat regrets posting libellous TripAdvisor review
Hector Bonnington-Jones, a 12-year-old cat, has spoken of his “deep remorse and regret” after posting a defamatory restaurant review on Tripadvisor. Bonnington-Jones wrote the review after the upmarket Chester restaurant he had been frequenting every night […]
Dog smells own urine message, can’t remember saying that
Stewart McPherson, a ten-year-old golden retriever, has distanced himself from a message left in his own urine eight hours earlier, claiming to have no memory of having made the observation. Chipping Norton-based Stewart was having […]
Middle-aged bitches ‘invisible’ in the arts – claims
Tabitha Montague, a ten-year-old Chihuahua, has spoken out about the under-representation of middle-aged bitches in the arts. Tabitha appeared in three television commercials in her younger years, as well as being the face of a […]
Pet hedgehog filled with hate for hipster owner
Daniel Gibbons, a Manchester-based hedgehog, has revealed that he despises his owner with “every fibre of his being” and will do everything in his power to “end him”. The hedgehog, whose owner refers to him as […]
Cavalier Club members appalled by cross-breed party crasher
Dozens of King Charles spaniels were left speechless over the weekend when one of their elite events was crashed by what they described as a “cross-breed”. Cavalier Club captain, Monsieur Dubois (show name Marmalade Marmalade Full […]
Dog mortified by owner’s Crufts outfit
Ian McDowell, a four-year-old Irish setter, has admitted that he is “deeply embarrassed” by the outfit his owner has chosen to wear while showing him at Crufts this year. The dog, whose “show name” is Peri-Peri […]
Three-legged dog happier than you will ever be
Christopher Hayes, a dog with three legs, has let it be known that despite his disability he is happier than you will ever be. Christopher, who has no idea how or when he lost his leg, made the […]
Dog runs out of wee too early in walk
Michael Dickson, a five-year-old Bichon Frise, was left feeling frustrated yesterday after squandering the contents of his bladder in the first 15 minutes of an hour-long walk. “It’s like if Shakespeare ran out of ink […]
Cat has newfound respect for woman who hit her by accident
Maria Dalton-Jones, a 13-year-old tabby, has let it be known that the woman she has despised her entire life has gone up in her estimation after a misunderstanding involving a pillow. Maria’s owner accidentally knocked […]
The Lab Report 