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Dogs by Ashley DaviesMar 29, 20163:38 pm
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Puppy set to monetise ‘sorry’ face

Bitcoin Jackson, a four-month-old goldendoodle, has outlined his ambitions to make money out of his face, which he has described as “the perfect embodiment of contrition in the digital age”. Bitcoin resolved to formulate his […]

Cats by Ashley DaviesMar 24, 20168:48 pm
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Cat regrets posting libellous TripAdvisor review

Hector Bonnington-Jones, a 12-year-old cat, has spoken of his “deep remorse and regret” after posting a defamatory restaurant review on Tripadvisor. Bonnington-Jones wrote the review after the upmarket Chester restaurant he had been frequenting every night […]

Dogs by Ashley DaviesMar 18, 20167:45 pm
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Dog smells own urine message, can’t remember saying that

Stewart McPherson, a ten-year-old golden retriever, has distanced himself from a message left in his own urine eight hours earlier, claiming to have no memory of having made the observation. Chipping Norton-based Stewart was having […]

Dogs by Ashley DaviesMar 17, 20163:10 pm
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Middle-aged bitches ‘invisible’ in the arts – claims

Tabitha Montague, a ten-year-old Chihuahua, has spoken out about the under-representation of middle-aged bitches in the arts. Tabitha appeared in three television commercials in her younger years, as well as being the face of a […]

Uncategorized by Ashley DaviesMar 15, 20166:19 pm
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Pet hedgehog filled with hate for hipster owner

Daniel Gibbons, a Manchester-based hedgehog, has revealed that he despises his owner with “every fibre of his being” and will do everything in his power to “end him”. The hedgehog, whose owner refers to him as […]

Dogs by Ashley DaviesMar 15, 20165:28 pmMarch 15, 2016
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Cavalier Club members appalled by cross-breed party crasher

Dozens of King Charles spaniels were left speechless over the weekend when one of their elite events was crashed by what they described as a “cross-breed”. Cavalier Club captain, Monsieur Dubois (show name Marmalade Marmalade Full […]

Dogs by Ashley DaviesMar 11, 20162:30 pmMarch 11, 2016
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Dog mortified by owner’s Crufts outfit

Ian McDowell, a four-year-old Irish setter, has admitted that he is “deeply embarrassed” by the outfit his owner has chosen to wear while showing him at Crufts this year. The dog, whose “show name” is Peri-Peri […]

Dogs by Ashley DaviesMar 10, 20165:24 pm
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Three-legged dog happier than you will ever be

Christopher Hayes, a dog with three legs, has let it be known that despite his disability he is happier than you will ever be. Christopher, who has no idea how or when he lost his leg, made the […]

Dogs by Ashley DaviesMar 5, 20167:59 am
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Dog runs out of wee too early in walk

Michael Dickson, a five-year-old Bichon Frise, was left feeling frustrated yesterday after squandering the contents of his bladder in the first 15 minutes of an hour-long walk. “It’s like if Shakespeare ran out of ink […]

Cats by Ashley DaviesMar 2, 20169:06 pmMarch 2, 2016
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Cat has newfound respect for woman who hit her by accident

Maria Dalton-Jones, a 13-year-old tabby, has let it be known that the woman she has despised her entire life has gone up in her estimation after a misunderstanding involving a pillow. Maria’s owner accidentally knocked […]

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