Roderick Manby-Saunders, an overweight chocolate Labrador, has declared himself to be “a real foodie”. “The clue’s in the breed name,” said Roderick, winking, prompting his wife Goldie to roll her eyes and leave the room. […]
Cats receive Whatsapp signal to attend sunny windowsills
Members of a 12-strong Whatsapp group this morning received an urgent signal to attend south-facing windowsills. The message was sent out by black cat Lavinia Bixby-Dangerfield, who woke up early on a Sunday morning and […]
‘Body-positive’ cat claims box still fits her
Pamela Trimble-Phillips, a 12-year-old black and white cat, this week hit back at critics who suggested she needed a “more appropriate, looser-fitting” box. Pamela said she felt compelled to stand up to her detractors after receiving […]
Cat is locked in cupboard, fails to notice
Alfred Proudfoot, a four-year-old ginger cat, this week failed to notice that he had been locked in a wardrobe by accident. Proudfoot’s owner was tidying her Edinburgh flat in preparation for a visit from the […]
Puppy set to monetise ‘sorry’ face
Bitcoin Jackson, a four-month-old goldendoodle, has outlined his ambitions to make money out of his face, which he has described as “the perfect embodiment of contrition in the digital age”. Bitcoin resolved to formulate his […]
Cat regrets posting libellous TripAdvisor review
Hector Bonnington-Jones, a 12-year-old cat, has spoken of his “deep remorse and regret” after posting a defamatory restaurant review on Tripadvisor. Bonnington-Jones wrote the review after the upmarket Chester restaurant he had been frequenting every night […]
Dog smells own urine message, can’t remember saying that
Stewart McPherson, a ten-year-old golden retriever, has distanced himself from a message left in his own urine eight hours earlier, claiming to have no memory of having made the observation. Chipping Norton-based Stewart was having […]
Middle-aged bitches ‘invisible’ in the arts – claims
Tabitha Montague, a ten-year-old Chihuahua, has spoken out about the under-representation of middle-aged bitches in the arts. Tabitha appeared in three television commercials in her younger years, as well as being the face of a […]
Pet hedgehog filled with hate for hipster owner
Daniel Gibbons, a Manchester-based hedgehog, has revealed that he despises his owner with “every fibre of his being” and will do everything in his power to “end him”. The hedgehog, whose owner refers to him as […]
Cavalier Club members appalled by cross-breed party crasher
Dozens of King Charles spaniels were left speechless over the weekend when one of their elite events was crashed by what they described as a “cross-breed”. Cavalier Club captain, Monsieur Dubois (show name Marmalade Marmalade Full […]
