Dog indifferent about Christmas fart decoy role

A young Rottweiler has said he doesn’t mind being blamed for the high levels of seasonal gas being passed by his owners and their recent visitors.

Ronald Rogers, a three-year-old father of four, first became aware of his status as a fart decoy a few hours after Christmas lunch.

He told The Lab Report: ‘I was lying on my rug by the fire when I heard someone say: “Oh, Ronnie, that is awful, boy,” when I genuinely hadn’t done anything wrong. I hadn’t farted, I hadn’t licked my balls and I certainly hadn’t rolled in anything.’

Several times over the course of the next few days he heard himself being referred to as ‘Ronnie Rot-gut’, despite not once having farted indoors.

‘It was obvious that I was being blamed for bad gas being created by people suffering the ill-effects of over-indulgence and consuming foods their stomachs aren’t used to, but it’s cool,’ he said.

‘But I do hope that nickname doesn’t stick, though. It would be a lot to live up to.’