Dachshund slams body-shamers

A respected local Dachshund has hit out at the “corrosive cult of canine body-shaming” that has resulted in a number of his family members being referred to as “sausage dogs”.

Frankie Humpage, a well-known figure in East Lothian, expressed his fury during his annual Christmas message to dogs at nearby Portobello in Edinburgh.

Addressing supporters who had congregated on the beach, Mr Humpage said: “It is unacceptable for people to dismiss us as ‘sausage dogs’ simply because of our proportions. It is rude. Unbelievably rude.

“The people who use this language – how they would feel if they were given a nickname based on the shape of their bodies? And that name gained currency across the globe and became more commonly used than the actual name of their breed. They’d be appalled and embarrassed, wouldn’t they?”

He added: “I wouldn’t dream of going around calling Shar Peis ‘gonad dogs’ or sphynxes ‘elbow skin cats’. Because I have manners.

“Yes, my torso may resemble the aforementioned foodstuff, and yes, my chap is often perilously close to the ground, but I am in good shape for my age and am jolly silky. Wise up, people.”

Mr Humpage’s pronouncements triggered widespread barking.


Photo courtesy of frankie_the_sausage on Instagram