Cat really looking forward to next puke

Samantha Richardson-Pratt, a 10-year-old tabby, has announced that she is really looking forward to her next puke.

Samantha, an Edinburgh-based house cat, said she couldn’t remember when she last threw up, but estimated that it was between two and four days ago.

Noisily purring while chewing on some cat grass, she told The Lab Report: “A good vomit really sets you up for the day. Even if it’s just a small smear of transparent slime with a few squashed up blades of grass in it, you feel lighter. Detoxed, if you will.”

She added that on occasion her attempts to throw up would result in no more than a “dry boak”, which, though invigorating to perform, did not provide that necessary feeling of inner cleansing.

“When the body talks, I listen,” she said. “This is so important. I don’t mind if I throw up on the bed or on a kitchen surface. As long as I can purge those toxins and just walk away I’m happy.”