Bitcoin Jackson, a four-month-old goldendoodle, has outlined his ambitions to make money out of his face, which he has described as “the perfect embodiment of contrition in the digital age”.
Bitcoin resolved to formulate his commercial plans after noticing that a photograph of a beagle puppy with the words “this is what sorry looks like” had gone viral but that the dog in question – long since dead – had made no money from his fame.
Bitcoin explained his thinking: “We’ve all made mistakes, from widdling in the kitchen or chewing up a doll to cheating on a spouse or embezzling millions from a pension fund.
“Who can resist an adorable ‘I’m sorry’ meme? That beagle pup – he died penniless. I intend to learn from his naivety. I’m going to build an empire.”
Bitcoin said he was very much aware that he had a short window of opportunity in which to exploit his adorable contrition face, but said he had assembled a team of expert advisors to maximise the revenue over a sustained period of time through merchandising, a series of sponsorship deals and image reproduction rights arrangements.
There is already a fitness video in the pipeline and Bitcoin is in top-secret talks about a reality show.