Cavalier Club members appalled by cross-breed party crasher

Dozens of King Charles spaniels were left speechless over the weekend when one of their elite events was crashed by what they described as a “cross-breed”.

Cavalier Club captain, Monsieur Dubois (show name Marmalade Marmalade Full Front-Room Jackson), who has presided over the Surrey gathering for the past three years, gave The Lab Report an account of the incident.

“We were in a roped-off section of the park, as is our privilege, rushing about with our floppy ears, the occasional glint of oozing, panicky eye flashing in the early evening light, when I caught sight of what can only be described as an abominable interloper.

“I believe my wife and son noticed it shortly after I did, and we all stopped dead in our tracks. There, as clear as day, was a – and I can hardly say this without feeling a degree of nausea and, yes, sorrow – a Cavapoo.”

He went on to describe how the event crasher, a cross between a King Charles spaniel and a poodle, tried to join in with the festivities without a hint of self-consciousness.

“Can you imagine the cheek of it,” boomed Monsieur Dubois. “As bold as brass, he was, trying to act as if he was one of us. Naturally, we shunned him, en masse.”

The so-called “interloper”, a good-natured 18-month-old called Simon, however, appeared not to have noticed that he was being ostracised due to the perceived class divide, and eventually romped off to make some new friends.

The trustees of the Cavalier Club have vowed to take extra precautions to prevent another security breach from taking place.