Dog claims never to have fetched a ball

Jenny Madison, a three-year-old red Border collie, has claimed that she has never once been given the chance to fetch a ball, despite the fact that in the past week she has done exactly this for a total of 12 hours.

Ms Madison, who lives outside Edinburgh, told The Lab Report: “I just want somebody to throw a ball for me to chase after and return to them, but I have never in my entire life been given this opportunity. Not once.

“I’ve tried to communicate my simple desire whenever I see a ball, or whenever I hear the word ‘ball’, but I guess nobody loves me enough to play with me.”

Jenny’s owner denied these claims, and at least 30 people came forward to confirm that they had witnessed her regular ball sessions in various parks.

The Lab Report even sent an undercover intern with a tennis ball to challenge Ms Madison’s claims, and can confirm that she has indeed spent a great deal of time having a ball thrown for her and taking great pleasure in returning it.

When confronted with this evidence, Ms Madison said: “No, I never get a chance to do that but I’d really like to. I think I’d be quite good at it. Please throw the ball for me? Please?”