Cat explains open-door policy

Ginny, a middle-aged Siamese, has spelt out the reasons behind her strict open-door policy.



For years her owners have been irritated by the fact that she insists upon having doors opened for her, then immediately returns to her original spot.

“It’s about the ancient art of Feng Shui,” she explained. It’s very important to allow the Chi to flow through all areas of the house, otherwise its inhabitants – living and inanimate – will stagnate.

“Try imagine the Chi flow as water, if you will. If it came in through your front door, where would it stagnate? These are the areas you must clear.

“I’ve always been a very spiritual creature. Everybody knows that about me. Good energy flow is crucial to our spiritual well-being and luck. We must all be mindful about this.”

Fred, the ginger tom who also lives in the house and who is happy to use the catflap, told The Lab Report that Ginny “talks a load of shite”.