A group of dogs have hatched a plan to sniff every human crotch in their village in a single day.
The group’s ringleader, Eric, a golden retriever, has decreed that the sniffing must be done with as much enthusiasm and ostentation as possible, particularly with regard to the higher status members of the human community.
He has prepared a list of “A-list targets”, which includes senior members of the Women’s Institute, the Rotary Club and the Church Preservation Society.
Lining up his troops on the village green on Sunday, Eric said: “Wherever possible, get your nose right up under a skirt and don’t let them push you away, no matter how firm they are. Really jolly-well go for it.”
He added: “But remember to have fun too, guys. This isn’t all about work. If you chance upon some corduroys or, even better, Tweeds, knock yourself out. Enjoy.”