Willy, a four-year-old Pug, this week complained to friends that he was sick of being patronised by humans.
Chatting with pals via urine at tea-time on Monday, Willy said: “It’s the constant stream of dull questions, really. Dull, repetitive and rhetorical.”
He added: “How many times can you hear someone gushing, ‘Who’s a boofoo boy? Hey? Who’s a boofoo boy?’ I mean, I presume they mean I am but why keep asking that? I shouldn’t think they want to know if I know any boofoo boys I can put them in touch with.
“Honestly, sometimes I would kill to have to field even a dreary question about my Christmas break, or whether I had any new year’s resolutions. I guess I’m as good a boy as the next but I don’t know how long I can maintain this facade.”